kalian ngerti ga.?

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akhirnya gue berkesempatan untuk naik bianglala.
ya.
kalian ga akan ngerti seberapa penting bianglala buat gue.
disana gue akhirnya percaya, kenapa manusia seperti Andrea Hirata juga tergila-gila pada bianglala.
ketika di bianglala, setiap putaran akan memiliki sensasi yang berbeda, akan memutar cerita ceritanya sendiri, tentang memori-memori yang telah pergi.
ah kalian ga akan mengerti.
dan memang bukan untuk dimengerti.

seperti malam ini.
gue begitu frustasi.
tentang Tuhan dengan rencananya yang begitu rahasia.
tentang semua yang nampaknya datar, namun begitu terjal, tajam, berliku.
sedangkan, Tuhan telah begitu bijak untuk menciptakan gue yang selalu setia menunggu setiap rahasia terbuka.
dan gue terlalu bersemangat untuk bertahan dan menunggu tabir rahasia itu terbuka, sekalipun gue pada akhirnya terluka dalam.
pada akhirnya, gue yang senang sendiri tentang luka itu tapi dengan memandang rencana Tuhan yang tidak biasa.
huh.
kalian ngerti ga.?
betapa duduk di bianglala, akan membuat semua itu berarti.
merangkai lagi semua luka, mengingat lagi rahasia yang terkuak, dan menghitung luapan kepuasan setelah penantian yang panjang.

yah, kalian ga akan ngerti.
karena gue bilang, ini bukan untuk dimengerti.

*selamat tidur Tuhan, selalu senang menunggu rahasiamu terpecahkan.*

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