random memory

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hari ini, junior gue angkatan 6 di SMANAC, menerima hasil SNMPTN undangan mereka.
sampai saat ini, saat gue ngeblog ini, baru diketahui 6 orang yang lulus.

haari ini membuat gue flash back lagi ke moment saat gue ada di posisi mereka.
ga tau tanggal berapa, udah lupa juga sih, gue ngeliat website untuk snmptn undangan itu dengan deg degan.
namun , hasil yang didapatkan ternyata mengecewakan.
yak, gue ga lulus.
pilihan gue itu : Unpad : akuntansi, dan Unand : FK, Akuntansi, dan Teknik industri.
and you know what i feel?
it's like, hell yeah..!
gue ngerasa bego banget, dan useless belajar selama 3 tahun.
percuma gue punya rapor dan ditulisin nilai rata-rata 90-an something gitu, percuma dong gue capek capek boarding school 3 tahun menderita..
rasanya bullshit banget hidup ini!

gue patah hati..
patah hati tingkat dewa, sampai kehilangan semangat untuk bimbel.
sampai akkhirnya, guru gue bilang, "snmptn ini baru dibikin tahun ini kok.snmptn diciptakan untuk memudahkan penjaringan dan bisa meningkatkan kuantitas siswa yang bisa lanjut kuliah.  inti dari perjuangan kalian bukan disini. inti perjuangan kalian nanti adalah snmptn tertulis. ga ada alasan untuk berkecil hati, tidak lulus di snmptn undangan!!"

okeh, dan gue rasa kata-kata pak Kelly guru Kimia gue nan Gahul sekali itu bener juga.
tapi gue tetep patah hati.
gue butuh, menenangkan hati gue dulu, dan menatanya kembali.
alhasil, seminggu itu gue habiskan untuk nonton berbagai macam drama korea dengan temen temen gue, disambung lagi dengan film film bollywood yang ada di mnctv..
seminggu untuk memulihkan dan menata hati.
lalu baru berjuang kembali.
kali ini lebih mati matian.
perjuangan kali ini berdarah darah..!

dan hasil dari perjuangan gue nan berdarah darah itu, terbayarkan..
senang..
merasa mendapatkan bayaran yang pantas setelah menempuh fase fase yang keras untuk bisa sampai ke titik ini... :)


the best feeling i ever had is when i saw this letter..

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